Financial Conflict in Marriage?
If you are experiencing financial conflict in your marriage it’s best to take it seriously. You don’t want to end up in my office negotiating your divorce, after all. Perhaps a better option would be to get some financial counselling. If you seek help from a social worker you may get some background as to why your financial conflict exists and how to understand where your spouse is coming from. But without a solid financial solution and a future plan based on what both of your financial short term and long term needs are, you are likely to end up in my office negotiating your divorce, after years of frustration, financial conflict and resentment.
Having counselled many couples regarding their financial differences there seems to be one common issue. One spouse is the perceived spender and the other spouse is the perceived saver. I say ‘perceived’ because accusation may not be accurate at all. Sometimes perceived spenders actually have savings plans and financial goals that are well underway and they spend what’s left over. However, the perceived saver in the relationship might focus on the funds that are being spent on vacations and material objects and see dollars floating out the door. Sometimes, however, other situations present themselves like the perpetual retail shopper or the saver who doesn’t live take advantage of experiencing their life due to a fear of living in poverty. If you want to see if you are on track feel free to use my financial calculators, located on my website. Financial Calculators
How we perceive money is largely based on the value and belief systems our parents instill in us during our formative years. When couples meet and start to create a life together sometimes these value systems clash creating conflict in the relationship. It’s important to understand your spouses financial values and for them to understand yours. However, developing a plan around acceptable saving and spending limits can afford you both years of happiness, instead of years of frustration, financial conflict and resentment.